Nonviolent communication

What Is Nonviolent Communication?
"Nonviolent Communication (sometimes known as Compassionate Communication) is a way of interacting that facilitates the flow of communication needed to resolve differences peacefully. It focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will, and avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem.
Nonviolent Communication assumes that enriching life is the most satisfying motivation for doing things, rather than being motivated by fear, guilt, blame, or shame. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. It is effective even when other people involved are not familiar with the process." —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D., Founder of Nonviolent Communication
The four components of Nonviolent Communication are:
Observations—observing a situation without moralistic judgment, or diagnosis.
Feelings—expressing to another how you feel without assigning blame.
Needs—expressing to another which of your universal needs are unmet or which you would like to have met.
Request—expressing a specific, doable request of another person in an effort to help you meet your needs.

This reflection is an excerpt from Peaceful Living: Daily Meditations for Living with Love, Healing, and Compassion by Mary Mackenzie, published by PuddleDancer Press, and is offered courtesy of NVC Academy and Mary Mackenzie.


I have been very inspired by Marshall Rosenberg since I first attended a seminar of his several years ago. The message he offers about how we can communicate with ourselves and others from a place of inner connection, awareness and deep compassion touches me. I try to live from this place in my daily life having the intention to practice in every situation I encounter with my family members, my neighbours, the people. Other than in my daily life I offer seminars and workshops to individuals, couples, parents, teachers and their pupils in schools. Mostly people are interested in learning a new approach to dealing with conflicts, anger and frustration. They want more harmony in their relations, they long to be heard and for ease and flow in their interpersonal exchanges. Curiosity for this approach as well as openness and an empathic attitude towards any reaction and the intention to try out something different are central. It is like learning a new language wiht it's grammar and vocabulary. Sometimes it might be strenuous and disconcerting, it questions our previous way of communicating that we know so well and still at the end there is the wonderful possibility to communicate and connect with the people in a new way, from heart tro heart . In my experience it is well worth the effort!